Spy-Styles: The Magnetic Validator, Part One

Do you prioritise personal connections over popularity? Do you seek out or attract the shy, the troubled or the differently-abled in social settings? If so, you are probably a Magnetic Validator.

Back in March, I promised a series of Substacks that would explore the different Spy-Styles I have observed at work over the past three decades or so. Then I went dark. This was because I wanted to think through my observations in detail, so that the series of articles (of which this is the first) would be meaningful rather than ad hoc.

The first conclusion my rethink led me to was that there is no need to categorise Spy-Styles as Risk-Negative or Risk-Positive. I can admit now – as much to myself as to readers – that the distinction was never genuinely clear in my mind. I was over-complicating matters. Now, I realise that each of the styles exists as a standalone type. Accordingly, I have re-labelled the Risk-Positive categories as separate entities, so that there are now six clear categories. These are:

• ‘Magnetic Validator,’

• ‘Magnetic Liberator,’

• ‘Magnetic Intriguer,’

• ‘Magnetic Enchanter,’

• ‘Magnetic Exciter’ and

• ‘Magnetic Provocateur.’

These styles fall naturally into three pairs: Validator-Liberator; Intriguer-Enchanter; and Exciter-Provocateur.

In this article, I shall introduce the first of the six: the Magnetic Validator.

A Magnetic Validator draws others to them by presenting as the sort of person with whom others can share emotionally, without fear of betrayal or ridicule. Other words associated with this category include confidante, sharer, giver, carer, and mentor. The bearer of this Spy-Style operates mainly in the emotional sphere, enabling others to feel seen, understood and empowered. Typically, the implication of this profile is that confidences will be a two-way street. Not so much a therapist as a reliable and sympathetic friend. This is important because it is easier to build trust with someone who is prepared to be emotionally open in return. Crucially, though, a Magnetic Validator presents as someone whose emotional openness originates from personal strength rather than vulnerability. This self-aware emotional resilience enables them to relate closely to the feelings of others. Empathy underpins all their interpersonal dealings.

A limited sample of the preferences, attitudes and habits of the Magnetic Validator includes:

· An inclination to engage one-to-one, rather than in large social circles;

· Directed, but open, non-threatening body-language, with natural, unforced mirroring;

· Default to a quiet, measured and reassuring tone of voice;

· Conservative, undemonstrative styles of personal appearance;

· Receptiveness to alternative points of view, but within a defined (usually socially liberal) system; and

· Heightened levels of loyalty to a small number of friends and acquaintances.

It is useful to reflect on how someone with this style is likely to behave in common social situations. For example, at a wedding, they will generally focus their attentions on the needs of either the bride or the groom, whichever they are closer to. Even without a formal role, they may make a point of being around one of the two as they prepare for their big day, offering practical and emotional support. During the ceremony, they will gravitate to older guests, providing physical assistance and exploring their connections to the main protagonists. They might be expected to engage meaningfully with a small number of other guests at the breakfast and evening function, on the lookout particularly for the awkward or the shy.

A Magnetic Validator is not obviously the sort of person that others would pick out as a likely spy. But it is understandable that such a person thrives in the HUMINT field and beyond. They have an almost uncanny ability to draw others to them, influence their responses and prevail in a range of personal and professional situations. Even while remaining apparently unexceptional. Most important, they inspire that most valuable of commodities: trust. Trust is a non-negotiable in any relationship between a spy and her agent. It should be a non-negotiable in any other type of relationship.

One of my favourite thought experiments when assessing someone’s personality is the ‘stranded in the desert test.’ Ask yourself, if you were driving across the Sahel (as one does) and your vehicle broke down irreparably, would you want that person with you, and why? This is not a question of whether they are mechanically gifted. Rather, the answer should be formed with respect to their levels of initiative, imagination and energy. As well as whether they would be a trustworthy, reliable and reassuring companion in a prolonged crisis. In the case of the Magnetic Validator, I would value their presence in these circumstances, for the following reasons:

• They tend to respond, not react, at critical moments. Rather than run around, shouting ‘don’t panic, Mr Mainwaring’, they take time to calm themselves, to ensure they can deal with the situation rationally.

• At the same time, they are sensitive to the emotional responses of others in the shared predicament. They engage at the personal level, to reassure and soothe their companions, enabling each person to give the best of themselves in seeking solutions.

• Only when they have composed themselves and their companions do they begin the process of appraising the situation, framing the challenges, triaging resources and formulating a plan of action.

It may be surprising to some readers that this is the essence of leadership. The Magnetic Validator’s responses, as outlined above, maps easily onto my Awareness Model of Leadership. This model encourages development of Self-Awareness, Others-Awareness and Situational-Awareness. In other words, the model encourages leaders to Think Like A Spy.

Do you recognise yourself in this Spy Style? Is it a Style that you would like to adopt, work towards or develop? If so, stay tuned for my next Substack, in which I will explore some fictional characters (in the espionage and other genres) who are classic Magnetic Validators. I shall also publish a questionnaire to help you assess how much of this Style you already possess. Finally, I’ll offer a range of exercises and self-endorsement mantras that you can use to become the most Magnetic Validator you can be.

Meantime, I’ll leave you with a few words from the leadership guru John C. Maxwell. They sum up what the Magnetic Validator already appreciates:

‘People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.’

Try showing someone – anyone – how much you care. Do it today. I can promise it will do you both good.